As you may or may not recall, it was just a little over 2 years ago that I was running from Cujo and broke my foot at the ski house I was a part of in Killington, VT. It was a long time healing and I ended up going to the closing on my house with crutches. I worked hard, though, and was still able to hike the Inca Trail only 4 months later. The worst was over…or so I thought.
I’ve had a lot of issues which have been related to the foot over the past couple of years, particularly with my hip and knee on my left side which seem to be reacting to something. Additionally, the foot itself has felt somewhat strange at times… Slightly sore sometimes, but the most weird (and uncomfortable) thing that happens regularly is I feel the bones in my foot “crunching” around (for lack of a better term).
I finally broke down and went to see a foot & ankle specialist yesterday…and I did not like what I heard.
He took some x-rays and determined that, from what he could tell, the bone I broke had not healed correctly…in fact, he said he had never healed entirely at all. Now it’s in a position where it rubs against another bone (which would explain the crunching) and the bone itself is still “raw” (as he put it). He’s ordered an MRI and said we’ll discuss options after he gets those results and has a better idea of what’s “going on in there”.
In the meantime, what he was able to tell me for sure is that I will more than likely always have issues with this foot. He said that due to the bone not healing properly (or completely), I apparently have arthritis that has developed in there and there’s nothing I can do about that except stock-up on the Advil. He also said that because this whole issue is centered around the bone(s) in your foot that take all the weight when you walk or stand, I need to “stay thin” - additional weight will just make it worse. In fact, he said that if I ever have children, I may need to spend the last trimester on bed rest because of this. I am also not permitted to ever do step aerobics or use the StairMaster when working out - too much stress on that foot. I’m assuming that would mean running is out too. I need to check with him to see if the elliptical machine would be okay. However, I can still hike, bike, and ski which is good news. ”You can do anything where your foot is well positioned and supported,” he said.
So needless to say I’m a little bummed. Being told that I will always have trouble with this foot is not what I consider to be an encouragement. James 1:2-4 says,
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
I always look at those verses with a little awe & confusion… It’s easy enough to read when you’re not actually facing a trial, but when you’re involved in a staring contest with one, it’s a lot harder to figure out exactly how to “consider it pure joy.” It feels more like pure frustration. But then I remind myself that God is sovereign and, as I’ve heard a million times, that is an all-or-nothing statement. God can’t be sovereign over some things but not others - He’s either sovereign over everything, or He’s not sovereign over anything. Therefore, if I believe He’s sovereign over everything (which I do because otherwise what hope is there for any of us?) then I believe that somehow my left foot is a part of His great overall plan for me - if for no other reason than to somehow use it to further turn me into who He has designed me to be.
So there you have it.
