So it’s been just about a year since I wrote my last entry concerning my ex who keeps turning up like a bad penny - incidentally, does anyone know where that saying came from? What exactly makes a penny “bad”? I’ve always wondered that… Isn’t a penny saved also a penny earned, and isn’t that a good thing? But I digress.
Anyway, “Ralph” (as I refer to him when writing publicly-accessible blog entries) has been…shall we say…challenging to get rid of. After dating him for nearly 2 years in Alaska, he had wanted to continue seeing me, but also wanted to see this other girl that he’d met at some bar. Naturally that was going to fly with me so we broke up. He married the other chick, they had a kid, and then proceeded to get divorced all within just a few years. I had continued to hear from Ralph periodically after our break-up (we had, after all, remained “friends”) until just before they separated. I had been back to Alaska for a visit and had told him in no uncertain terms that I did NOT want to hear from him again. My request essentially went unacknowledged as I continued to receive regular emails from him.
About a year ago, I wrote back. I had let 5 years go by without so much as a “howdy-do” from me, yet Ralph had been undeterred. My thinking was that perhaps it was the challenge of it all for him. Maybe if I just responded and didn’t give him much more than the time of day, he’d get bored and disappear. That didn’t work either.
Now one might wonder why I didn’t just block his emails. Well, a couple of issues with that. First off, I did block his emails at first, but he would change email addresses periodically so they would continue to slip through. Then, in an attempt to run away from spam, I changed my primary email address and made sure he never had that. He also had my work email which had been the same for the last 10 years and there wasn’t much I could do about that - we didn’t have any blocking capabilities there, and I obviously couldn’t change my work email.
But then came the merger. When my division merged with the new company, my work email changed. However, the deal was that they would forward anything that came into our previous work email addresses through December 2007. During that time was when I heard from Ralph again (an email was forwarded through). This was when I had responded, but I responded through my old personal email account so that he wouldn’t find out what my new work email was - the last thing I wanted him to know was that I had changed companies. After December, our emails stopped being forwarded, but sending an email to my old work account would return and “undeliverable” response with a message indicating what my new address was. This month, they turned that feature off as well.
Finally, the time had come and I saw my chance to escape.
Keeping Ralph emailing only to my personal account seemed like the safer thing to do to ensure that he would never find out more about me than I wanted him to know. To that end, for a year I managed to keep him from ever sending a message to my work. Now that the forwarding and messaging was no longer being done through our work servers, I went in and closed my old personal email account.
If Ralph emails me at the old address, he’ll get an “undeliverable”. If he then tries my work address, he’ll get an “undeliverable”. I’ve cut off his only two known ways of contacting me. He doesn’t know where I work. He doesn’t know where I live. He doesn’t even know what I do. Granted, he is in law enforcement, so I suppose if he wanted to find another way to hunt me down, he technically could. I did buy a house, after all, which means my name is listed in public record databases, etc. but I still don’t think it would be that easy. I’m also on Facebook and MySpace, but my profiles are protected and I don’t think he’s on those sites anyhow.
So this time I may actually have done it. I may actually have gotten rid of him! This has been a long time coming… I’m a little afraid of him tracking me down anyway, but maybe you guys could just pray a circle of protection around me so that, even if he looks, he won’t be able to find me. Please understand that it’s not as though I hate him or think he’s dangerous in any way. I don’t. Nor do I wish him ill. It’s just at this point I’m so sick and tired of him that I really REALLY want him gone from my life.
My hope and prayer is that he finally is.
wow you travel a lot looks like, I love the pictures they are awesome! what do you do for a living?
on the subject I know about these type guys and i had the same story and well my stalker hasn’t bugged me lately so i guess thats a good thing. one day i want to look up and see him, see me in a whole new light so i can stick my tongue out at him and say nah nah nah nah nah look what you missed!! like a big kid lol. ah one day
YEA!! I am so glad that FINALLY “ralph”..heehee…has no way of personally contacting you. Such good news and so many years in the making.
Found you. Took me 35 min and 8 internet jumps but I only used the info at my disposal (that you gave me). Will call you tomorrow to explain the hole.
And oh yeah, before everyone has a heart attack, this isn’t Ralph - it’s just Esther trying to see what I could infiltrate if I was him
Okay, so “Ralph” make sure you call and let me know where the hole is!! I tried to find one myself, but couldn’t… Also, I don’t know that he would necessarily be web saavy enough to know to search for former email handles which I’m guessing is probably what you did. He doesn’t even use his own for signons to things. Plus he doesn’t do any social networking stuff (Facebook, MySpace, etc.) I think the extent of his Internet presence is using email and I guess he can probably navigate himself to a website if need be.
Good for you for sticking to your resolve and not getting sucked back into anything. I say I’m going to never talk to the ex again but in a moment of weakness I call or respond to his call. UGH!